Right, get your wallets out for charity. Or we'll be sending the boys around.
Friends, clients and couch potatoes - open your wallets and dig deep for a good cause. Because next Monday, Elm House Striders will be pounding the streets of Belfast in the May Day Marathon. That's why we're now going to hound you to cough up some much-needed spondulicks. So, on reading this, I expect you to lift the phone and pledge a handsome donation to our autism charity.
If you don't, we'll send the Striders round to waggle their blistered toes and smelly trainers in your face until you surrender your cash. (And having smelled some of their 'ordinary' footwear, I imagine that is a fate worse than death.) Our operators Michael and Bettina are now taking calls.
So come on - do us proud: lift the phone and lend a hand. And if you're going to be viewing the marathon, please roar them on.